The Nellie

An implausibly matched duo from  Observer team recently attended the opening of Queer cocktail bar The Nellie in Elephant Park. This consisted of office ‘fun guy’ Phil from accounts and our diversity lead Marcus, who’s claim to diversity rests in having dated a Dutch guy for six months. What could possibly go wrong?

The Nellie occupies the site of the not very good Latin restaurant Cheeky Chicos, and prides itself on being a quiet refuge in a busy location, and the Elephant is far from quiet. The focus at The Nellie  is cocktails, which can be time consuming to create but gratifying after a patient queue at the bar. This sedate nature of the place was confirmed by Phil/Marcus, but we can imagine this vanished by their second round.

Phil ordered a bloody Mary and Marcus a spicy margarita. There might have been further beverages consumed but this wasn’t recorded or remembered. Phil vaguely described his Mary as ‘very tomatoey’ with an abundance of vodka and pepper. Marcus more lucidly described his spicy marg as mixing citrus orange liqueur, and tequila accompanied with a firey kick not often comfortable to the UK palette. Other punters were enjoying Stonewall beers and wines. Phil WhatsApped us something about the toilets being nice but when the quality of loo roll was detailed management found this content to be a bit compromised.

The Nellie serves food which Marcus viewed with a degree of curiosity. In a move of uncharacteristic scrutiny he connected the  improvised swag, a remaining fake cactus, a surreal lady on the keyboards  to a menu  almost identical to not very good Latin joint Cheeky Chicos.  With this discovery he bolted out of his upholstered armchair and shouted ‘in the name of Gaga I know what’s going on here!’.. It would appear that  Cheeky Chicos lives on but has been reimagined as an upmarket gay bar by means of a few pride flags and photos of Oscar Wilde. Listen, we all have bills to pay so hats off to the Chicos mafia for making such a bold but slightly odd transformation.

The Nellie is a fun night out for our Queer readers and people who like sitting amongst giant fake cacti. They offfer loads of outside space and is a great way to spend a sweaty evening. As for the Observer staff reading this, we’ve told you a million times not to trust Phil with a camera whilst at the pub or anywhere else for that matter as the results are, shall we say, ‘unhelpful’.

Betty and Joan’s

As our new intern Allen appears to be up with the kids, we recently sent him on a mission to check out Greater Kennington’s latest LGBTQI+ bar Betty and Joan’s, with the exciting addition of a Queer Comedy club. Claiming to be the UK (and possibly the world’s) only gay comedy club,  B&J is an independent queer owned venue which was originally based in north London but have relocated to Elephant Park because, not to brag, its all happening down here.  

Allen went to Betty and Joan’s on a Saturday night and was impressed by the young and down to earth crowd enjoying dance anthems and drink deals. The cabaret performer was Karise McCock and spinning tunes was DJ Christina Draguilera. On other nights performers include Tiana Biscuit, Rhys’ Pieces and Ophelia Love. We frankly have no idea who any of these people are, but they certainly sound like a lot of fun. On the website there is also a music quiz night and activities/DJ’s nightly.  

The comedy room is a dedicated performance space adjacent to B&J and opens on 7 January. It will be a combination of free (we love free) nights with paid events later in the week. It will likely be a mix of very experienced mainstream comics trying out new material and brand new acts just taking their very first steps onto the comedy scene. So you might get folks you’ve seen on Live at the Apollo or people who are, shall we say, having their ‘moment in the sun’. Keep checking the website as these kinds of things fill up very quickly. 

Allen, if you’re reading this we’re very appreciative that you worked on a Saturday but you’re not getting overtime for an evening spent downing sambuca shots and flirting with men. And we’ll blithely forget the Instagram video taken at 11:38pm of you dancing to ‘Toxic’. Betty and Joan’s is open nightly and is in Elephant Park. It is also open on New Years Eve and tickets can be nabbed on their website. We expect Allen will be there.