Many of you are probably thinking ‘will the Runoff EVER get around to doing a piece on public conveniences?’ Well, due to the popularity of a few Insta pics (if you haven’t already, please join us there as we’re loads of fun) we’ve decided to create an article about the long closed Victorian public convenience in Kennington Cross, which is currently on the rental market.
The Kennington Cross WC was engineered by B. Finch & Co. in 1898 in a Victorian movement to make London a more hygienic place (read ‘so blokes wouldn’t pee in the street’). It features an array of beautiful marble and iron urinals with a glass tank on top, three cubicles, a mosaic tile floor and a booth for attendants. To keep the critters occupied while nature calls, at the street level there is a horse/cattle trough (1880) that precedes the WC. Sadly, Lambeth Council closed the toilet in 1988 but since then a headstrong group of volunteers have endeavoured to keep it falling to middle earth. Whoever rents this unique property will need to be conscious that it is, thank the urinal gods, Grade 2 listed.
Over the past ten years, clever people have been turning disused toilets into equally clever things. There is a cute mini chain of wine/charcuterie bars called ‘WC’ and we’ve visited the one in Bloomsbury. The closest ours has to come to anything that interesting is when it was a pop up arts venue called ‘Arts Lav’ in 2017. At 387 square feet we think it might be too small to be converted into a bar or even a tea shop, but one person who got in touch told us that he was married in the toilets, so in reality it could be converted into anything. Whatever it might be, it will hopefully be developed into something that we can all visit and appreciate.
The capacity for our community to transform and evolve is sometimes more than us mere humans can absorb. To those who don’t visit Elephant and Castle regularly, it can be unsettling to see how it’s changed over the past 10 years.
We recently discovered a charming, 22 minute short film called ‘UnEarthing Elephant’ about the people and community that sprung up in Elephant and Castle shopping centre. Shot in 2017, it’s both a celebration and an elegy to a shopping centre that people knew was doomed but not when. The touching and at times funny personal stories of love/hate relationships are mixed with tales of how the shopping centre never really worked until saved by small, independent shopkeepers, many of whom were immigrants to the UK.
Credits to the amazing Eva Sajovic, who created the piece and narrates most of it.
And we’ll never forget the erotic massage chairs……
In Greater Kennington we are blessed with a complement of independent coffee shops such as Change Please in Elephant Park, Kennington Coffee Shop, Urban Botanica, newbie Capheum, and of course the mighty Bouquets and Beans. We’re proud to announce another has joined our serried ranks and is located in an oft looked overlooked part of our area, at the top of Walcot Square near Brook Drive.
We made our surreptitious trip to Walcot Stores coffee shop on a Sunday morning. On the Lords’ day it’s difficult to entice Runoff staff to work, so we asked our accounts guru and self confessed party boy Phil if he’d like to join us for ‘a drink or two’ on Sunday morning. He arrived looking confused and crestfallen, but willing to act as our additional pair of eyes. Walcot is very clean, bright, and inviting. They sell gift cards and crafting things, with chirpy owner Millie defining her gaff as a ‘creative café’. She also confirmed it as a place where people can take a break if they want to work outside of the home. Dogs are allowed.
We came for a caffeine kick, and Phil had an Americano which he described as rich and smooth, and your scribe had an Earl Grey. A variety of milk and substitutes were also offered, and presented in 60’s retro crockery. Of special interest were the fresh and tasty pastries. Phil had the GF coconut and almond ‘mini mouthful’, where your scribe opted for a blueberry oat crumble bar. The bar was moist and sweet with a big hit of ground almond. There were a range of good looking pastries with Millie explaining that savoury items, such as overnight oats and foccacia bread, are also available. Isn’t this sounding so of the moment!
Walcott Stores is located in an old neighbourhood grocery shop and we have stolen unearthed a photo from its earlier incarnation, below. Walcot is a fine place to work, catch up with friends, or grab a quick coffee/bite on the go. And Phil, if you’re reading this, we hope you’ve taken away a valuable lesson from this experience, as things aren’t always what they appear to be. Except quality coffee.
And the number 5 spot is nailed by posh deli and restaurant Didi and Franc. The review below is from a gastronomic visit undertaken in November, 2023.
It’s been long overdue but we’ve finally paid visit to the little restaurant at Didi and Franc in Kennington Cross. For those not in the know, D&F is an upmarket deli/cheese/bread/wine shop that generally sells gorgeous foodie things that you have no practical use for but still want. The cheese section being particularly good. Didi and Franc are real people and usually on hand and possess a forensic knowledge of the food they sell and the items on the menu as they’re the ones who ordered and cook the stuff. The short and precisely primed dinner menu is Italian.
Karen from finance loves a mackerel, so we shared a smoked mackerel mousse which was light in texture but punchy in flavour, served with some of the delicious sourdough bread sold in the deli. Karen chose to follow this with a vegetarian (possibly vegan) option of mushroom and chestnut tortellini with pesto rosso, cavolo nero and chestnuts. Chestnut feels wonderfully autumnal so it’s nice to see this feature. The generously filled homemade tortellini having a rich nutty taste that went beautifully with a red pepper flavoured pesto and a bit of green hit from the cavolo nero. Karen got so excited that while in the midst of chewing she yelled out, to a shocked room, ‘this dish a triumph’! Or words to that effect.
Beef
Mackerel
Your scribe consumed beef shin and red wine tortellini with tomato sauce. This was next level cheffy stuff with a very rich, wine based tomato sauce and seven tortellini stuffed with beef shin so delicate that it melted before hitting the back of my palate. My tortellini was perfectly al dente with a touch of parmesan. Pumpkin pie was a surprise dessert not originally on the menu but that had just been rustled up by Franc himself. An American who later joined us declared it to be a world apart from Wal-Mart (we have no idea what this means but is probably a good thing): warming spices blending with the pumpkin puree and with a top-notch sweet pastry crust. Probably not too different to the pecan pie on the menu.
More experienced readers might recall that the premises now held by D&F was formerly an Oddbins and a place of sacred refuge after many a fraught team meeting here at Runoff towers. So when it first opened we were disappointed at the pearl clutchingly high price of their wines. Well can we confirm that either Didi or Franc got the message as the prices are now a bit more reasonable (but still high). And with a certain gift giving holiday just around the corner, D&F could be the perfect destination for your foodie friends. And they also do ‘make your own’ hampers.
The restaurant at D&F is open during the second half of the week and we strongly advise that you book as the first time we couldn’t get a seat.
If money were no object then Brunwisck House would nab the top spot, but as money DOES matter they’ve bagged the still respectable six slot. Please note that restaurants on this scale have menus that change almost daily. So what you read below (from 2023) might not still be available.
If you’ve ever noticed a large Georgian mansion which appears to be on the precipice of getting inhaled by skyscrapers in the Vauxhall gyratory, it is called Brunswick House (and we’ve written about it here) and for several years they have run a critically acclaimed restaurant, in addition to its main hustle of selling (very) high end architectural salvage.
The dining room sits effortlessly in a large space in Brunswick House selling mostly chandeliers, light fittings and other gorgeous things. For an upmarket restaurant, the clientele was surprisingly young in a kind of ‘please come to my book launch next week’ kind of way. And no sooner do we sit down than we are joined at the next table by no other than TV presenter Miquita Oliver and a gaggle of her gorgeous, hair flicking friends. They were a nice complement to our botanical and creative cocktails, the favourite being their house eucalyptus martini.
The menu at Brunswick House often requires a diction course or at least a dictionary. But fear not, the drilled to perfection serving staff can help you differentiate between a chicharron and a tardivo. And there is the very modern dilemma of trying to decipher a sharing plate from a mains. Highlights among the snack or starter sizes were the salt cod croquettes, the roasted leeks and the devilled eggs. The croquettes oozed with creamy salty fishiness, while the roasted leeks were winning for an innovative combination with a tangy sauce derived from red peppers and pecans. The devilled eggs had a seventies retro quality but the trout roe filling gave it a more on trend feel.
For the mains, your scribe had the roast cod with sea greens and spring vegetable chowder. The meaty and flaky cod was set off well with what appeared to be a tureen of well matched veg with an aniseed hit. A big hit on the main size dishes was the fresh maccheroni (note proper Italian spelling). This packed a big flavour hit with the curious sounding combination of roast chicken butter, wild garlic and bottarga (translation: grey mullet roe). Curious it was but definitely lovely – rich and satisfying.
Fancy Macaroi
Cod
And then, after a night spent with Maquita and her chums set amongst glittering chandiliers and food we couldn’t pronounce, our night was over and we were deposited into a bus fumed traffic gyratory in Vauxhall. But the wonderful food made it worthwhile. This kind of food is by no means cheap, but one of the few glories of sharing portions is that you can just pop in for a snack of two £5 plates and they’re fine with that.
Our Ten Best Places to Eat in Greater Kennington (+ One Sunday Roast) launches on Thursday and we are currently working assiduously on this highly scientific yet wholly subjective list. Ahead of that, we’ve unearthed a lovely Vimeo video we’d like to share with you
As Elephant and Castle is now undergoing a full on ‘Vauxhallization’ we’ve been recently waxing nostalgic for the old shopping centre. It was like that kooky great aunt you used to have in Leeds – you visited it only when you absolutely had to, was past its prime, and very fond of pink. And before you know it, they’re gone forever.
It’s OK to feel a bit conflicted about the shopping centre. On the one hand it harks back to a more innocent form of independent retail in which shopkeepers knew your name and you could be sexually aroused by a massage chair. But it was also a dangerous place rife with drugs. And not the drugs your kooky aunt took.
This uplifting and artistic video is from 2010 and makes you realise the centre was more like a community meeting for many.
When we recently yelled out in the office ‘who’d like a lunchtime drink’ Phil from accounts reflexively leapt out of his chair, but was crestfallen when we he discovered he’d be heading to brand spanking new coffee emporium ‘Capheum’. Capheum is nestled subtly in a former tattoo parlour in that sketchy bit of Kennington Park Road down from Tesco Express and the dreary pub Oaka. We love them already.
When we arrived, our first impressions were of a clean, bright and petite (four or five tables) boutique coffee/tea house with the usual range of coffees and a small but pleasing array of pastries. The owner explained that they are supplied by the award winning Celtic Bakeries which is all delightful but as they’re not based in Greater Kennington we weren’t interested. Your scribe had an Americano, and it was a full flavoured, rich and nutty blend. We gave Phil a sip and he unhelpfully commented ‘well it just tastes like a Guinness to me’. This was served as directed with cold milk in a clever, ribbed cup that never got hot.
Phil had a breakfast tea, which he described as ‘great’.
And in spite of Capheum having a name that sounds rather like the latest recreational party drug, it’s a very sedate place to work or just catch up with your bestie. The music is low in a kind of ‘Buddha Bar 2000’ manner and there is good wifi and plenty of plug sockets. We tested it a second time and stayed a while with a laptop, and the owners were fine with that.
Before we commence our mega mix of how you can buy gifts for people you love/put up with this Christmas, let’s think about the Greater Kenningtonians out there who are struggling to put food on the table in these difficult times. This year we’re supporting the Secret Santa campaign run by our friends over at the Kennington Association. Last year KA raised funds to give shopping vouchers to 150 local households, with the families chosen by local early needs professionals. To find out more and to donate, click here. If you like the more hands on approach there is a food collection box next to the exit at Tesco in Kennington Lane.
FOOD AND DRINK
Italo Vauxhall and Mimi’s Deli both have a range of Italian foodie gift ideas including wines, beers, spices, panettone (that’s Italian for ‘stale cake’), oils, cheeses and even posh sauces. Mimi’s has also turned the former seating area into a glitter themed pop up Italian accessory shop in the back, not visible from the road. They also do custom made hampers. As you can see below, the joint is rammed this year.
Mimis
Didi and Franc
Mercato Metropolitano has all of the Italian fare outlined above and also features some wine and posh olives in jars . They have wonderful meats and cheeses but if they sit under your tree for the next fortnight until Christmas the smell might rather dampen the Christmas vibe.
Mercato
Bee themed wrapping paper, Bee Urba
Oval Farmer’s Market Ever thought about buying an edible Christmas gift from our own beloved country market? They stock many things that won’t perish under the tree such as chorizo, chocolates and wine. We’re also concerned that the Market is kind of dying and we need to prevent this. You have two Saturdays before Christmas!
Beefeater Gin Distillery has a lovely but totally deserted gift shop offering unusual, limited run gins and gin accessories. You can also buy a gift voucher to tour the distillery (we can confirm it’s great fun). Perfect for your loved one who likes a nice holiday tipple or to get your annoying uncle Fred to nod off before the turkey is served. We understand Beefeater’s parent company Pernot Ricard is the opposite of independent, but it’s Christmas so don’t judge us.
Orbit Brewery is our own hidden away little gem of a brewery in Walworth. Online or in person you can buy a range of their lagers, cders, ales, porters, and even socks. And the rumour is true, they sell tzatziki flavoured beer that we can only describe as, well, ‘adventurous’.
Didi and Franc have gone full tilt in 2023 and are selling custom made hampers to fill with their gorgeous goods. But if, like us, you don’t fit their demographic, you can just buy one of their baskets and fill it with things from the corner shop. And while you’re there you can pick up a panettone at I due Amici next door. Panettone being of course the food that you never actually eat, but just regift at a Christmas party you’ve been invited to.
NON FOOD
Castle Square When you think of Christmas shopping the first thing that springs to mind probably isn’t ‘ooh, lets go to the place behind Elephant Station where they keep the bins’. But if you venture there you’ll discover a clutch of independent shops that used to exist in the shopping centre. Great for your younger folk looking for baseball caps, hoodies, clothes, or undergarments to make your bum look either smaller or larger. While there pop over to the retro video game emporium 4 Quarters?
SoLo Craft Fair is a collective of online artists and creatives who run a bricks and mortar shop in Elephant Park. Sixty small businesses have their work shown on rotation and during our journey we saw affordable jewellery, handbags, baskets, cards, scarves, bath salts, prints and T-shirts. Things that smell nice seem be dominant this year.
So-Lo
Pretty Shiny Shop
Hound Hut From the chains, cages and chew toys in the window, for many years we thought Hound Hut in Clapham Road was actually a bondage/S&M shop. However, it is your one stop shop for everything canine, even refrigerated dog food.
Pretty Shiny Shop sit nexts to the (not S&M) Hound Hut and they swaggeringly claim to be Greater Kennington’s Christmas Shop (steady) and they stock a range or cards, houseware items, Christmas tree goodies, and small pieces of jewellery. It’s like a giant Christmas explosion in that place.
Windmill Flowers stocks not just flowers but also collectables and houseware accessories and Mary is in charge to show you the way forward. Mary also has some Christmas trees and accessories for those who haven’t got their act together quite yet.
Vanilla Black in addition to books also has some nice gift ideas such as cards and stockings and a few food items. We think VB secretly hate us but we’ve moved on with our lives and are plugging them anyway.
I due Amici, regifting heaven
Vanilla Black
QueArts is a sterling little arts and crafts store across from Kennington Park and they also undertake framing. Great for your creative or just bored friends.
Bee Urban is bee based charity in the middle of Kennington Park (behind the cafe) selling all sorts of honey and honey related things such as candles, fragrances, soaps and even cards. Interesting place to check out even if you don’t buy anything.
Walworth Garden and Urban Botanica While perhaps not the easiest thing to wrap, have you ever considered the gift of houseplants? The charity and juggernaut of horticulture, Walworth Garden are selling cacti, cards and other things in their geodesic dome. While over in Kennington Cross, UB is one of the few places on earth where you can sip your Minor Figures chai latte while browsing Boston ferns.
Always be Comedy , our very own stand up club, is offering your loved one the gift of a comedy E voucher at The Tommyfield. We’ve seen the likes Harry Hill, Al Murray, Sara Pascoe and more. The crowd looks a lot like a casting call to be on ‘The Apprentice’ but you quickly get over that.
Instead of seeing us as the best mythical online publishing powerhouse in Britain, recently people seem to be confusing us with a girl at Waterloo station with a ’can I help’ sash. The question at hand is how to get your hands on a Christmas tree, as the lovely Abraham over at Bouquets and Beans in Kennington Cross is not doing them this year. We’re sensing a middle class existential spasm about to happen here, and we’re on hand to help as we love you.
We can confirm that Windmill Flowers currently have a bevy of Christmas trees outside of their shop, and they can be found in Kennington Cross. Also, an oddly named outfit ‘Clickmas Trees’ is back in the churchyard at St. Mark’s church in Oval. Both places also stock Christmas accessories such as wreaths. If you know of any other places selling trees please put them in the comments section, as frankly we need to move on with our lives.
We would like to express a Runoff welcome to the newest arrival in Kennington Cross, Ink Beauty! While we’re not in a position to gauge the local market for bum contours, scalp tattooing and fat dissolving dermal fillers, we always support the little guy so long may you prosper.
