We love nothing more than a barmy idea that never comes to fruition, and one almost came into fruition in that very bastion of barminess, Vauxhall. In 1963, London County Council were accepting applications for a never to be realised bridge to replace the current Vauxhall Bridge. As the objective was to ease congestion and overcrowding, the Glass Age Development Committee submitted a plan for a 300 metre, seven storey glass edifice called ‘The Crystal Span’.
The vision for the recumbent skyscraper was to create a wide berth for cars on the ground level, and above it, create an extension of the Tate Gallery, a shopping centre, roof gardens, an open air theatre and residential development. So as you can see, paying over the odds for a tiny Vauxhall flat above traffic fumes and noise is by no means a recent phenomenon. Structurally, the bridge would have been made of a pair of double-decked concrete boxes for the road sections, that in turn supported the buildings above. A glass curtain surrounding the bridge and enclosing the pedestrian spaces would have hung from the sides of the bridge structure.
The Crystal Span caused a bit of a stir and some support, but in the end, sadly, LCC declined to pick up the estimated £7 million (£132 million in 2024) construction costs, and the scheme was abandoned. In the office we had a little pool going to guess what clever nickname this project could have had if it had bee executed. Of the ones that can be printed, we had the ‘crystal protrusion’, ‘dead Shard’ , ‘Passport to Pimlico’ and ‘carbon monoxide alley’.
For reasons purely relating to research we quality controlled Coriander at the end of February, 2024 and it still deserves the number three spot.
Greater Kenningtontonians are almost as opinionated about their curry as their Sunday roast, but we find that the best hands down to be The Coriander in Vauxhall. We are aware that such a bold assertion is controversial and might make you want to hurl tarka dahl our way but since you don’t actually know who we are that’s not likely to happen.
Coriander specialises in North Indian, Bengali and Nepalese cuisine. The garlic naan is just right – not too thick and herbs going through it. For side dishes, the baingon motor (aubergine) is a standout treat, and their other starters cover all the bases of North Indian food. For the mains, our favourites are the chicken tikka naga (above) with hints of cloves, cumin and loads of heat. All the good curry house standards are also in evidence, and we particularly like the handi laze, which is spicy chicken with chillies and fragrant cardamon, giving some zing with added lemon. And as with most Indian places, there are a range of vegetarian options. There are also a huge range of rices, and we prefer the good old fashioned pilau.
Honourable mention in for Indian food goes to proper old school curry joint Gandhis in Kennington Cross which just missed our list. As you can see by the celebrity strewn pictures in the window, if it’s good enough for Richard and Judy, Neil and Christine Hamilton, and some lady who’s a dead ringer for Hyacinth Bucket then it has to be good enough for us mere mortals and may return to the list one day.
If money were no object then Brunwisck House would nab the top spot, but as money DOES matter they’ve bagged the still respectable six slot. Please note that restaurants on this scale have menus that change almost daily. So what you read below (from 2023) might not still be available.
If you’ve ever noticed a large Georgian mansion which appears to be on the precipice of getting inhaled by skyscrapers in the Vauxhall gyratory, it is called Brunswick House (and we’ve written about it here) and for several years they have run a critically acclaimed restaurant, in addition to its main hustle of selling (very) high end architectural salvage.
The dining room sits effortlessly in a large space in Brunswick House selling mostly chandeliers, light fittings and other gorgeous things. For an upmarket restaurant, the clientele was surprisingly young in a kind of ‘please come to my book launch next week’ kind of way. And no sooner do we sit down than we are joined at the next table by no other than TV presenter Miquita Oliver and a gaggle of her gorgeous, hair flicking friends. They were a nice complement to our botanical and creative cocktails, the favourite being their house eucalyptus martini.
The menu at Brunswick House often requires a diction course or at least a dictionary. But fear not, the drilled to perfection serving staff can help you differentiate between a chicharron and a tardivo. And there is the very modern dilemma of trying to decipher a sharing plate from a mains. Highlights among the snack or starter sizes were the salt cod croquettes, the roasted leeks and the devilled eggs. The croquettes oozed with creamy salty fishiness, while the roasted leeks were winning for an innovative combination with a tangy sauce derived from red peppers and pecans. The devilled eggs had a seventies retro quality but the trout roe filling gave it a more on trend feel.
For the mains, your scribe had the roast cod with sea greens and spring vegetable chowder. The meaty and flaky cod was set off well with what appeared to be a tureen of well matched veg with an aniseed hit. A big hit on the main size dishes was the fresh maccheroni (note proper Italian spelling). This packed a big flavour hit with the curious sounding combination of roast chicken butter, wild garlic and bottarga (translation: grey mullet roe). Curious it was but definitely lovely – rich and satisfying.
Fancy Macaroi
Cod
And then, after a night spent with Maquita and her chums set amongst glittering chandiliers and food we couldn’t pronounce, our night was over and we were deposited into a bus fumed traffic gyratory in Vauxhall. But the wonderful food made it worthwhile. This kind of food is by no means cheap, but one of the few glories of sharing portions is that you can just pop in for a snack of two £5 plates and they’re fine with that.
Now that you’ve completed that new year’s resolution of running around Kennington Park six times, it’s time to work on your grey matter. It’s that time in the Greater Kennington cultural calendar (it’s a thing, trust us) for us to enlighten you about the ‘Classical Vauxhall’ series of concerts and events at various places in Vauxhall, Kennington and Oval from 29 Feb to 3 March. The press release boldly describes it as ‘a four day festival of live music and song, featuring a diverse, world class line up featuring acclaimed musicians and captivating performances’.
The concept behind these five concerts is to put on shows that are varied, lively, and accessible to people who (like us) are not habitues of the Royal Opera House and might otherwise be a bit intimidated by this genre. The event is being co-hosted with the London Philharmonic Orchestra with each night set to a theme, the themes being classical soul, mythical events, piano vs. violin, and a cappela singing. There are also a few events geared to kiddos.
Classical Vauxhall are also laying on two walks which sound fantastic. One is called ‘Astronauts, Aeronauts, Animals & Agents’ and another about the music of Vauxhall. There is also a workshop about historic dance. And please note that ‘historic dance’ probably refers to Vauxhall Pleasure Gardens and not the time in 2005 you ripped off your shirt in a ketamine haze at Fire nightclub.
The director of the festival and the brains behind the whole shebang is Fiachra Garvey and he is joined by artists such as Elena Urioste, China Moses, Mary Collins, Tony Tixier and Adjoa Andoh. To be honest we have no idea who any of these people are – But– we have seen some of their work on YouTube and it’s beautiful. Elena and her amazing violin are featured here. Tickets are £22.15 for the concerts so not exactly cheap, but a great way to support local culture and artists who are also doing outreach at schools. Some folks from KR towers went in 2023 and they described it as both amazing and great fun. A nice way to get a little culture in your life without venturing much further than your local pub.
Only 10 days to go until our ‘Ten Best Places to Eat in Greater Kennington (+ 1 Sunday Roast)’ countdown, people!
For those of you who have the actual nerve to travel outside greater Kennington, you might in your travels have encountered the Low Line, which is an urban regeneration business initiative created underneath railways arches from Bermondsey to London Bridge. If you’ve seen new arches (and a cinema) opening up in Borough Market and nearby Flat Iron Square then you’ve witnessed this initiative in action. So why are we telling you this little nugget of seemingly useless information?
Union Yard Arches, SE1
This is Battersea, but similar to how our arches will look
For two years a creative team have been at work to extend the Low Line from London Bridge to Battersea. This cuts right through our fair patch from Lambeth North right through Vauxhall and through to the nightmare urban sprawl that is Nine Elms. We are particularly excited about a plan to connect the area by a new cycling/walking route. Some of these arches are already occupied by great local business. However there are other arches, such as the sad lot in front of Newport St. Gallery, who could use some serious TLC.
The vision for the back of Pedlar’a Park
The vision for Goding St. Imagine no nitrous oxide canisters!
The Low Line in our neck of the woods is comprised of 299 (!) arches and a deep dive into the report indicates that that the planners are already aware that a range of independent businesses exist but others have had to move (eg Above the Stag Theatre) when Railtrack hiked the rents up. In the report Lambeth and Wandsworth recognise that what makes our communities work are businesses such as the ones that have existed under these arches for many years. A good example are the Portugese places on Albert Embankment. A hike in rent means they might be no more and we’ll be stuck with the likes of Franco Manco or, god help us, Gail’s Bakery. This should all be kicking off in 2025 hopefully in the right direction. The Runoff are watching you, Lambeth and Wandsworth!
If you want more information and you have a great deal of time on your hands you’re sick in bed, the detailed report can be found here
From the 2022 archives, the sixth and final of best of history posts!
When you woke this morning you probably weren’t thinking ‘you know what, what I really NEED today is to read about a cold storage facility’. But as we’ve seen in the past two years, life is full of unexpected antics. Some of the more mature residents of Greater Kennington might recall that for 35 years (1964-1999) the monolithic Nine Elms Cold Storage facility dominated the Vauxhall skyline, located exactly where the round St. George Wharf tower now presides, and it has a history that might just leave you shivering.
In the 1960’s Vauxhall/Nine Elms was not dominated by million pound flats and swimming pools in the sky, but by railway yards. It was a key transport terminus by rail and river, and our Cold Store was erected to provide a chilly home for meat, butter and fish. However, by the late 1970’s improvements in refrigeration and transport made the building redundant, and it became derelict after just 15 years of life. And this is when our story becomes interesting….
The people of Vauxhall are nothing if not creative, and following the closure of the Cold Store it was used illicitly as a cruising ground, a recording studio, a performance space and even a convenient spot for devil worshiping. On the cruising front, it was the place to pull if you hadn’t been lucky at the nearby Market Tavern (RIP) or Vauxhall Tavern. Guys had to negotiate a 10 foot padlocked steel gate with razor wire, but once that had been conquered one was rewarded with the world’s largest dark room (we assume not the film developing kind).
One of the abiding stories of the Cold Store is that it was used for satanic worship, or just performance artists trying out new material. In one recollection a certain ‘archbishop’ took people on tours that ended at a double bed which doubled as an altar. This must have been a wholly frightening/hilarious experience in the pitch black void that enveloped them. However, some found inspiration in the gloom and in 1990 avant garde musicians Chemical Plant (who?) used it as a recording studio and created the super spooky video with the Cold Store making a cameo below.
The question persists as to why the Cold Store evoked mystery and myth. Perhaps the darkness in such a monolithic structure allowed people to explore sides of their lives which were usually hidden. In skyscraper laden Vauxhall it seems almost unfathomable that such a derelict structure existed until almost the millennium. Perhaps the thrill of being in a structure which shouldn’t be there was an enticement.
Let’s us first pay homage to the pub that used to inhabit this domain. It was the Royal Oak in Kennington Lane (next to the Eagle) and was one of Greater Kennington’s last authentic working mans’ pubs. Sadly it went under last year, but not by the hands of current landlords John and Ryan McElhinney, who run a small chain of pubs in Waterloo/Southwark. Luckily we used to go to the Royal Oak (Ok, we went once) and we can confirm that Mc and Sons has retained many of the original features from its previous incarnation including the bar and fireplace and have given the place an Irish twist, this being the theme of their five pubs.
We visited Mc and Sons to inspect their Thai menu but of course there are a range of drinks available. Pints on offer include Madri, Session, Camden Pale and Stout, and something called ‘It’s the Hope That Kills You’. At £6.50 they could have called it ‘It’s The Price That Kills You’ but this is London after all. And one can always have a cocktail, a glass of wine or, for the rebels, a soft drink.
Karen from finance chose Chiang Mai chicken pieces followed by Pad Graw Prow. For a starter, the chicken pieces are a generous portion; strips of chicken thigh fried with a dry rub. This comes through moderately spicy, with undertones of lemongrass, and is served with a sweet chilli sauce for dipping. This would equally serve well as a shareable bar snack if you didn’t want a full meal. Karen pronounced her tofu Pad Gras Prow as ‘not for the faint of heart’. This was exceedingly spicy, possibly due to not being able to avoid the sliced chillies which she said were tricky to spot in the atmospheric lighting (and without her glasses). As Karen is on a health kick she chose her Prow with tofu, which was generous and filled the bowl/plate nicely and was topped with a fried egg.
Your scribe indulged in drunken noodles, which consisted of thick rice noodles stir fried with a bit of egg, an abundance of mixed vegetables all mixed nicely in a stir fry with oyster and fish sauce. The prawns were very generous, but the dish had even more heat than Karen’s, so I had to beg John and Ryan for some water. Nonetheless, both dishes have officially been declared triumph: Lots of ingredients in the tin bowl along with proper Jasmine rice and a gorgeous Thai basil-lime-chilli-ginger flavour. It’s a flavour hit if you can stand the heat, so is highly recommended.
As for the demographic, it is mostly comprised of white, straight millennials with spare money who like to laugh and enjoy a restrained night out. That describes basically no one at Runoff Towers but that’s just fine, as we appeared to fit in nevertheless, and so will you. And we’re loving the snug at the front of the pub with its own private bar hatch. FYI, if you’re going to dinner you need to give them a ring as it’s not possible to book on their website.
It’s that time of year again and one of our favourite activities here at the Runoff…..sticking our noses where they don’t belong! From 6 to 17 September is the Open House London Festival, celebrating London’s housing, architecture and neighbourhoods by flinging open doors and streets not usually open to the public. We have a few suggestion for you and they are all FREE, and we love free.
St. Paul’s Newington
Most Open House venues have friendly staff on hand to tell you more about what you’re seeing and there are often things to read. If you look on the website you’ll see some local bookable things, but I’m afraid you’ve missed the boat on those babies. The venues listed below are open to the public on specific dates. However, if you possess the audacious gaul to travel out of Greater Kennington you might find there are hundreds more free things to stick your head into around the capital. But we couldn’t possibly encourage that kind of behaviour.
Under the guise of us refusing to admit that summer is actually over, we have yet another fun and free festival happening this weekend (2 September) in Embassy Square in Vauxhall, and its called the ‘Feel Good Festival’. Now before your naughty brain gets the wrong idea (we know what you’re like), it is about wellness and not those other things that make us feel good.
While most festivals we promote on the Runoff involve abusing your body in some form, the Feel Good festival is a whole day celebration of wellness including outdoor pilates, fitness classes, live music, well being workshops, healthy food and drink (read…no bar), market stalls, and games. While this event is free some of the courses being offered are more labour intensive and there is a fee, and tickets can be scored here
The Feel Good Festival is in Embassy Gardens this coming Saturday from 10:00 to 17:00 and is free, just turn up. If you’ve never heard of Embassy Gardens you can be forgiven because it only came into existence a few years ago, and is behind the US embassy.
Looking for a fun distraction on what is probably the last weekend of the summer? Of course you are and so are we, and we can recommend nothing better than the charity raising and inclusive Royal Vauxhall Tavern Sports Day at the back of Spring Gardens on Monday 28 August from 1pm.
For the uninitiated, Sports Day is our own little Notting Hill carnival, with soca and steel drums substituted with handbag throwing, tug of war and drag queens. The event is composed of approximately 10 teams, usually dressed up and with great names. As you can imagine, there is a definite comedy element to the proceedings and is MC’ed some real BBC sports reporters who corral events into a semblance of actual competition. The various tasks (egg and spoon, the 50 metre mince, drag race relay, etc) are constructed in a knockout format with the winning team being crowned at about 5pm
This event is free but bring some cash as there will be charity buckets and volunteers about, and there is also a raffle. The day is certainly not limited to a specific demographic and there are a number of families there with kids, older folks, and an overall sense of mirth abounds. There are bars, music and once in a while the cute critters from Vauxhall City Farm even pop over for a visit. Our suggestion is to grab a blanket and some food and make a picnic out of it. The website indicates a kickoff at 1, but is usually about 1:30. And If you are going please pop over and say hello to the Runoff team. And good luck trying to find out what we look like, as we might just be a room of AI chatbots.
The highlight of the has to be the rhythmic gymnastics because, let’s be frank, you haven’t truly lived until you’ve witnessed a dozen hairy men in tutus dancing to ‘Toxic’.
