Tarns

Through the years we’ve written a great deal about the way in which Greater Kennington evolves and develops, but rarely about how it revolves and becomes something similar to what it was before. Thus is the case with Elephant and Castle, which was once a hub for swishy shopping, dining and entertainment for the bourgeoisie and is on the precipice of revolving into that guise yet again.

In previous generations destination hubs were anchored by a department store and some of these still exist, such as Morleys in Brixton. In Elephant it was the mighty Tarns, whose massive footprint roughly matched that of the impending shopping centre. Tarns was a remarkable business empire which employed hundreds, and perhaps the very person who lived in your current digs. Local folk and people throughout London flocked to Tarns for departments which varied from  baby linen to haberdashery and parasols to teas. We were particularly intrigued by the ‘mourning wear’ department, and have delicious images of a person rocking up in floods of tears saying “I am DEVASTED that auntie Flo has passed but I was looking for a black strapless anyway so now seems as good a time as any”.

Tarns was a staple of Greater Kennington for decades and the department store craze revolutionized the way people, most notably women, shopped. No longer did people have to dodge puddles only to end up having to haggle for the price of an apple, and you could just browse. Sadly, during the Blitz the Elephant was almost completely obliterated and our mighty Tarns then went to that giant Milliner in the sky. So when you’re juggling that shiny apple in the new M&S in the shopping centre spare a thought for those apple buyers that came before.

Open House London 2026

It’s that time of year again and one of our favourite activities here at the Observer….sticking our noses where they don’t belong! From 12 September to 20 September ii’s the Open House London Festival, celebrating London’s housing, architecture and neighbourhoods by flinging open doors and streets not usually open to the public. We have a few suggestions for you and they are all FREE, and we love free. 

Most Open House venues have friendly staff on hand to tell you more about what you’re seeing and there are often things to read. If you look on the website you’ll see some local bookable things, but we’re afraid you’ve mostly missed the boat on those babies. The localish venues listed below are open to the public on specific dates, so look at opening times. However, if you possess the audacious gaul to travel out of Greater Kennington you might find there are hundreds more free things to stick your head into around the capital. But we couldn’t possibly encourage that kind of behaviour.

London Fire Brigade Memorial Hall. Perhaps your last chance to see it before it is turned into, you guessed it, flats and a luxury hotel…but we said that last year.

https://programme.openhouse.org.uk/listings/11781

International Maritime Organisation (that bizarre looking building on Albert Embankment. pictured below). This was our favourite in 2025.

https://programme.openhouse.org.uk/listings/7730

Tannery Arts: Winchester Arts Studios

https://programme.openhouse.org.uk/listings/13174

St. Paul’s Newington. Most postwar churches are mediocre at best. This is a real beauty.

https://programme.openhouse.org.uk/listings/2556

Van Gogh House London (Been and recommend. Its more about restoration than the great man so don’t expect any paintings or a severed ear).

https://programme.openhouse.org.uk/listings/8317

Segmental House – Amazing 2024 addition to a listed Georgian home

https://programme.openhouse.org.uk/listings/12824

City & Guilds MA Show 2026

The time has arrived yet again in the Greater Kennington cultural season (yes, it’s a thing) for the free and massive MA show over at City and Guilds in Kennington Park Road and of course we’ve just checked it out for you. And because we love free stuff.

What we appreciate about the MA show is that it’s not just about painting, for example sometimes it’s just a side table with packets of fags on it. But other areas show the work of conservationists, restorers, wood carving and sculpture. All set within those beautiful Georgian buildings in Kennington Park Road. A theme this year appears to the influence of Tracey Emin’s new drip paintings. Other themes appear to involve branches and lots of rocks stuck to walls

As you meander through the galleries you can read bios of the artists and gain insight into their process, theory, outlook, and motivation. There is something here for everyone and some of the work is quite stunning. A lot of the artists are on hand to walk you through what you’re looking at. In other words, don’t be an armchair critic as the artist is probably behind you, but there to answer all of your questions.  And if you haven’t a clue what you’re looking at just maintain a steely gaze, purse your lips, and proclaim ‘that mound of sticks is about IDENTITY’! Works every time. Opening times at bottom

PUBLIC OPENING HOURS

Tuesday 8 September | 11:00-18:00

Wednesday 9 September | 11:00-18:00

Thursday 10 September | 11:00-18:00

Friday 11 September | 11:00-20:00

Saturday 12 September | 10:00-17:00

Bury the Hatchet @ Southwark Playhouse

We all love a lazy bank holiday but let’s be hones at times it can become a bit, well, tedious. If you fall into this camp and enjoy bluegrass music, history, and tales of people being bludgeoned with an axe (and really, who doesn’t) then we have JUST the activity for you! 

We just toddled along to the Borough/Elephant outpost of Southwark Playhouse to see the play/musical ‘Bury the Hatchet’. The play is about Lizzie Borden, a Massachusetts woman who in 1892 murdered her parents (or did she?) with an axe. The house was locked and she was inside, but would a lady possess the strength and disposition to perpetrate such a heinous crime?

The chain of events is presented to us as a macabre comedy by an absurdly talented trio of actors who take on multiple roles and adopt a range of accents while singing, playing instruments, and reciting events of the bloody occurrence. There are definite elements of physical theatre as the actors writhe on the floor and dance wildly.  And at times breaking down the fourth wall to address the audience directly. 

It’s hard to classify this engaging and terrific 90 minute show as having a particular genre, which is perhaps what makes it so fascinating. Part musical, part concert, part play, Bury the Hatchet asks questions which are still relevant today, such as how the media can impact opinion, and how wealthy and articulate white people can get away with…murder. And what other play can be set in the 19th century whilst name checking the Daily Mail and Jet2holidays? 

Bury the Hatchet is on now until 5 September and tickets can be nabbed here. As of lunchtime 28.8 tickets were available for all performances over our lazy, languid Greater Kennington weekend. 

RVT Sports Day in Spring Gardens

Our sports reporter Mark has been collecting a great deal of dust so we’ve finally given him an assignment. He wholly recommends the very fun, charity raising, and inclusive Royal Vauxhall Tavern Sports Day at the back of Spring Gardens on Monday 31 August from 1pm. Because we’re all about charity.

For the uninitiated, Sports Day is our own little Notting Hill carnival, with soca and steel drums substituted with handbag throwing, tug of war and drag queens.  The event is composed  of approximately 10 teams, usually dressed up and with great names. As you can imagine, there is a definite comedy element to the proceedings but is MC’ed by some professional sports reporters who corral events into a semblance of actual competition. The various tasks (egg and spoon, the 50 metre mince, drag race relay, etc) are constructed in a knockout format with the winning team being crowned at about 5pm. All proceeds go to charity LGBT Hero, which promotes health in the lesbian. trans and gay communities.

This event is free but bring some cash or a tappable phone as there will be charity buckets and volunteers about, and there is also a raffle.  The day is certainly not limited to a specific demographic and there are a number of families there with kids, older folks, and an overall sense of mirth abounds. There are bars, music and mirth being consumed. We would never presume to tell you how to live your life, but for maximum enjoyment we might suggest a picnic consisting of ultraprocessed food scored from the corner shop. The website indicates a kickoff at 1, but is usually about 1:30.

Why there aren’t more events like this is a mystery to us, like the continued existence of phone boxes or announcements on the tube banning E-unicycles. And whats an E-unicycle?

Free Garden Museum and a Scary Tony Blair Gnome

Over at the Garden Museum on Sunday (the 12th) they’re having a Neighbours Day and we think its something that you might just want to get your hands dirty for as its yet more free stuff. There will be workshops on flower arranging and pressing, seed bomb making, face painting, and live music. This is mostly kids stuff which we’ll avoid but is great as some of us in the office were once kids ourselves.

The best part of the day is that the museum itself will be open for free (usually £17, which we think is a bit steep) and there will be periodic tours of the exhibits and the beautiful decommissioned church in which it is set. For those who haven’t been, the museum encompasses bedding design, implements, seeds, old lawn mowers, FlyMos, and descriptions of how certain plants were brought to the UK. There is also a small art gallery and you can climb the medieval tower. The garden gnome collection is particularly impressive 

Neighbours Day is on Sunday from 11-4 and is totally free. And by ‘neighbours’ we think they’re liberal in their definition. And this will be your chance, and these chances don’t come by very often, to meet a scary garden gnome that looks JUST LIKE TONY BLAIR. 

Cricket a la Mode

As a person who lives near the Oval you may at some point be asked to attend a cricket match, and if cricket isn’t exactly your wicket then this piece is for you as we’ll introduce you to other things going on there. Recently some of the Observer staff attended the T20 Blast series at the Oval.  This was booked through  our underused colleague Mark over on the sports desk. Or his name might be Mike. Anyway, we wholly thank Mark/Mike for making this unusual sports foray possible.

The primary feature of T20 cricket is that the matches are compressed into three hours, and are fast past and undertaken in the evening, making it more appealing to neophytes such as us, and we used AI to teach us the basics. We saw the London Derby of Surrey vs. Middlesex and the punters were certainly more, shall we say, energetic than the punters we saw on a previous daytime session, who appeared to engage with the sport primarily whilst snoring.

One fun activity is to wander around and learn about the history of the grounds and cricket greats such as Alec Bedser and Ian Ward. We frankly have no idea who these people are but they have very interesting stories. On the pitch you can grab £1000 if you catch a ball, which appeared highly unlikely given the sobriety level of the crowd. There were also fireworks, ozone destroying fireballs, a T-Shirt cannon and of course nothing could yell ‘Greater Kennington’ more than the addition of a drag queen. As a bonus, cricket appears to be one of the only sports that you can enjoy while chatting with people around you or even on the phone. It was a wonderfully lively bunch.

No day out for us would be complete without stuffing our face, and it was provided by the excellent Kerb catering, who do a more upmarket version of football grub. We saw venison burgers, loads of hot chicken, Indian, Greek, fish-n-chips, loaded fries, BBQ and more. Your scribe had a chicken shish wrap from Lil Watan and intern Paul had a delicious Punjabi naan wrap from Baby Dhaba. One place where they sting you is at the bar. They have fancy craft beer and fine wines, but our Brixton Pale Ale and a can of wine (they’re a thing) was over £18. However, on some fixtures you can bring in your own booze but sadly not T20. This probably explains why Phil from accounts vanished when it was his round. But as it was Phil he could have just been kicked out.

We greatly admire any sport that you can observe while scrolling on your phone, talking, sleeping, or being flogged a car. So if you’re feeling inspired by this article, admission starts at £20 and there are many other matches available. If you want to discover more about the history of the Oval, including the man who walked 1000 miles around it fuelled only by brandy infused tea, we’ve got you covered.   

Jack White at Newport Street Gallery

Once you’ve written probably the best known guitar  riff of the 21st century you’d think that life is pretty much downhill after that. But clever Jack White from the White Stripes thought of a backup long before creating the chant a from thousand terraces. His first ever public art exhibition, These Thoughts May Disappear, is an overview of White’s artistic space outside of music. Some of these works are from the 90’s but most have been created specifically for this exhibit/salesroom at Newport Street Gallery in Vauxhall. And yes, amongst us we figured out that a terrace isn’t just a place where you gossip and sip Rose.

At first glance White’s artworks are pop art, Tim Burton-ian inventions to the extent that you expect Helena Bonham Carter herself to pop from behind a sculpture, but they invite a closer look. People who are aware of the Stripes work (not us) will detect his colour coded references to the Stripes back catalogue. An upstairs room acts as a nod to White’s start as a Detroit upholsterer and features a stripey table with a levitating ping pong, as all good tables should possess.

Gallery one is comprised of a number of small ceramic figurines which all bear a striking resemblance to White himself, which to us acted as sinister, almost Trumpian introduction to the exhibit. In the third gallery we encounter White’s mythical Pallet Cleanse Corporation, which repurposes redundant pallets into glamorous objects of adoration, often in high gloss. As if you forgot the identity of the artist, there are stripes of every sort to remind you. And apparently references to songs we’ve never heard of.

After the furniture jumble sale with aforementioned levitating ping pong, the third room becomes immersive and allows us to play with all sorts of Moog synthesisers and other fiddly bits which integrate into the works. The overall impression are of works manufactured out of household objects from a man shed in the back of a garden,  which across this impressive group of more than 100 sculptures, paintings, photographs, and pieces of furniture White achieves.

Is this the evolution of a talented artist or a bored, washed up rock star trying to capitalise on his name? To think in these binary terms rather defeats the purpose of art like this. If you enjoy art for art’s sake, does the artist really matter? And as it’s free who cares, as a seven nation army can’t hold you back.

These thoughts may disappear is on now until 13.9.2026, so you have no excuse to get over there. And for those of you who have no clue who the hell we’re talking about, the video is below.

Making Your (Persian) Mind Up

We love Amici as they never run out of novel concepts to get people through the door. Bands! Singles nights! Jack Straw! And now they’ve done it again….Just when you thought Kennington couldn’t get any more camp they’re hosting…..wait for it….. a Eurovision night!

Amici will be taking their enormous TV outside and it will be viewed in their otherwise quiet garden where, according to the press release, drinks will be flowing and food will be served (it’s not free, we know what you’re like). The food served is Persian and Italian. You can get Italian anywhere so we always stick to the Persian, which is to die for.  Office favourites are any of the grills, and also the Persian stew called Khoresh. The owners are Iranian and can give you the full low down about what you’re about to encounter. Well maybe not if it involves dancers emerging from under a giant skirt.

Amici if you’re reading this (and if not you’re missing out) we have some tips to make it a better night. You could try a ‘who’s replaced Scott Mills’ drinking game or, even better, have a former UK representative do a PA! There are plenty of them who have a LOT of time on their hands. Try reaching out to Gina G, she’s getting on a bit but stranger things have happened.

The UK entrant is the disturbingly catchy ‘Eins, Zwei, Drei’ by Look Mum No Computer. The chorus features the lines ‘Darlin’ I need somethin’ salty, with a slice of pepperoni’. See for yourself.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=niMKvJ-Itq8&list=RDniMKvJ-Itq8&start_radio=1

Topical Ghosts in Oval

We love contemporary art and we love Gasworks Gallery in Oval. And while nothing will quite achieve the varnished heights of a previous show which turned the gallery into a Hampstead Heath cruising area, the current offering certainly tries its best. So if your taste includes ghosts who can play the piano while talking about racism, then you’re in for a real treat.

The current offering at Gasworks is by Portuguese American artist Gabriel Abrantes and is called ‘Bardo Loops’. The animated ghosts reference a phase between death and rebirth. Think of them as really articulate zombies. The ghosts talk about a range of topics without the other ghost listening (they are dead after all) in a friendly and almost mocking tone. The challenge for the viewer is that some of these topics are indeed very serious, but made to look trivial. Abrantes uses the ghosts as a way to explore issues relating to loss, illness and vulnerabilities. The manmade disasters unfolding behind them (eg a forest fire) seem minimal as we remain trapped in our own drama, ultimately only getting out of said drama by the use of our phone or AI. Or both.

Bardo Loops is open now until 7 June and is totally free. But please remember that if you want to mingle with the apparitions, the gallery is only open Wed-Sun 12 to 6. If you want even more ghostly fun they are having an artist curators tour on 9 May and a few other phantasmic offerings to be found here.