Author Archives: Kennington Runoff

Free Garden Museum and a Scary Gnome

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In our first instalment of fun things to do this weekend, over at the Garden Museum on Sunday (the 14th) they’re having a Neighbours Day and we think its something that you might just want to get your hands dirty for. There will be workshops on flower arranging and pressing, seed bomb making, face painting, and live music. There is no bar but this might be a good thing given that you’ll be surrounded by sharp gardening implements that could inflict life altering damage.

The best part of the day is that the museum itself will be open for free (usually £15, which we think is a bit steep) and there will be periodic tours of the exhibits and the beautiful decommissioned church in which it is set. For those who haven’t been, the museum encompasses bedding design, implements, seeds, old lawn mowers, FlyMos, and descriptions of how certain plants were brought to the UK. There is also a small art gallery and you can climb the medieval tower. The garden gnome collection is particularly impressive 

Neighbours Day is on Sunday from 11-4 and is totally free. And by ‘neighbours’ we think they’re liberal in their definition. And this will be your chance, and these chances don’t come by very often, to meet a scary garden gnome that looks JUST LIKE TONY BLAIR. 

Getting Fishy at the Prince of Wales

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One of the joys of going to the Prince of Wales in Cleaver Square is that it gives one the otherworldly feeling of being transported to a rural pub in the Cotswolds. A place populated by people wearing cords in the summer and saying things like ‘well, daddy’s having a bugger of a time housing that second pony’. But when a meal deal is in the offing we don’t mind sticking out a bit   

We came to the PoW to enjoy their Fishy Friday meal deal, which entitles diners to two fish and chips for £20, and this great value was definitely the default option for most of the diners we saw. You might think this keen pricing would mean some skimping on portion size but this was not the case. Our fish was beautifully fresh, large and in a crisp batter that had been made in house, and possibly so was the tartare sauce it came with. The chips were serviceable, of the “chunky McCain’s” variety. We do wish more places would offer homemade chips, but understand they are a hassle. Finally there were some minted mushy peas thrown in the mix. 

When our surreal evening with Tarquin and his floppy haired pals drew to a close we departed, only to encounter outside the pub a group of men MORRIS DANCING! And they were throwing serviettes in the air. In KENNINGTON! This was quiet enough surreal country fun for one evening so we gave them a wide berth but the evidence is below. And you don’t get that at All Bar One. 

Dominion at Newport Street

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Choosing the right career can be tricky when your dad is the artist, collector, and  Newport Street Gallery owner Damien Hirst . But the beneficent Hirst has given his son Connor a helping hand by allowing him to rummage through daddy’s loft space and garage to pull out a bunch of paintings and curate his very own show. The product of Connor’s efforts is now on show for as all to see at Newport Street, located handily in our very shire. 

The curated work of the younger Hirst is called ‘Dominion’, and groups together highlights of Hirst’s mind boggling collection of 20th century paintings. Included are works by Warhol, Emin, Bacon, Banksy, Baselitz, and Koons, to name a few. The theme, like most of Hirst’s work overall, is about the cycle of life, death and redemption. Amid the images of car accidents and electric chairs, you also see the virgin Mary and clowns. Also included is the 1995 work ‘Myra’ by Marcus Harvey. Hugely controversial when it was exhibited at the Royal Academy in 1997, it symbolised the YBA (Young British Artists) of the period, of which Mr. Hurst was one

Dominion evokes memories of Hirst’s excellent 2020 show retrospective ‘End of a Century’ which we reviewed at the time. In an almost peerless display of life imitating art, the exhibit closed suddenly after only a few days due to the death and pain happening in the outside world. In that show he displayed the cycle of life by means embalmed sharks and dead flies. While Dominion is more subtle, it touches on similar themes, nevertheless. 

If you’re a fan of 20th century art and want to give young Mr. Hirst a bit of career boost then it is sliver of time that you won’t regret. Dominion is on now until 1 September, 2024 and is totally free. Newport Street Gallery is open Wednesday to Sunday, 10am to 5pm.

North Lambeth Parish Fete

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Hosted in collaboration with Daniel Cobb Estate Agents and none other than the Holy Ghost himself, the North Lambeth Parish Fete is coming up this Saturday, and we will certainly be there (we’ve actually never been but more on that later). The Fete is a big event in the Greater Kennington social calendar and very inclusive. It’s now bigger and better than ever, and the weather looks pleasing indeed.

On a very rare occasion we visited the gardens of Lambeth Palace and they’re stunning, extensive and almost never open to the public. The price of a ticket itself (£5) justifies a wander around, and no booking is required.  According to our sources, the Fete is kid friendly but not exclusively, and is known for its dog show and features prizes, including fastest sausage eater and least obedient (we assume these prizes are for the dogs and not humans). There is also a raffle, face painting, St. Anselm’s Junior Choir, and races for the kids. If you don’t have kids there’s a Pimms tent to keep you sane. And if you do have kids there’s a Pimms tent to keep you sane, run by the great Black Prince pub. And there are a number of great local food stalls looking pretty delish on the website. And you even get the chance to watch old white dudes throw serviettes in the air.

We haven’t been to this little Fete before as it always clashes with our team building weekend at Glastonbury. Unfortunately the Runoff Manadarins have called a day on this small kernel of happiness following an incident two years ago in which we asked Phil from accounts to fetch the ciders during Billie Eilish, only to found him two days later face down behind the ‘Sonic Wow’ dance tent. And some excuse about us not remembering anything about team building when we return. Such is the stress of working here. 

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Metropolis London

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If you dare venture into other neighbourhoods, you might have detected that big venues full of small eateries are now well established. An example is Market Place in Vauxhall which we reviewed in 2022. With  Railtrack’s mission of gentrifying the gays out of the Vauxhall arches now nearing it’s completion, we felt compelled to visit enormous Metropolis London in Albert Embankment.  While Metropolis itself is far from independent it’s food stalls definitely are, and here is what we found.

We took new intern and overall zippy gal Beth for a working lunch. As Beth is on a health kick, she headed over to the Curry Club  and chose the dahl with spinach and paratha. At £6.99 this has to be one of the bargains of the Metropolis food options (which aren’t exactly cheap). As you can see, it was a small but adequate serving of a luscious dahl with good spice and coconut coming through and it is served with two whole parathas, providing plenty of that flaky, stretchy Indian flatbread to soak everything up. She pronounced it to be very good indeed and a terrific lunch option.

Your scribe headed for the curiously named Uzbeki place ‘Shpaz’, which Beth observed is the sound that a tiny dog makes when it pops out of a posh lady’s handbag and sneezes. For £10 we had the Lag Nam chicken noodles. Served in a rich broth, this healthy option featured hand pulled noodles, carrots, celery, peppers and what tasted like barberries and dried coriander. Very light and satisfying.   Other cuisines at Metropolis include Italian, Thai, burgers, pizza, Japanese and Greek. And of course poke bowls, as it is now illegal to have a food village without one. 

We are aware that these look like dishes that could be served in a prison canteen but….
photographing food is very difficult!

Metropolis occupies two huge arches and there are plenty of tables both outside and in. Outside features a cute coffee/pasty hut which also serves pints. The second arch is dominated by a massive bar and a stage to appeal to an evening crowd. While it is very sad that thanks to Railtrack independent LGBTQI+ assets such as Above the Stag theatre have gone to that giant curtain call in the sky, at least there are some independent shops of a fashion opening up in their place. 

Chocolate Dino Company

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We recently paid a visit to newish cookie/brownie/sandwich/coffee (whew) shop Chocolate Dino Company at the top of Kennington Road to inspect their fares. Dino’s Is owned by local boys Rafal and Marcin who joined the baking bandwagon, as so many Greater Kenningtonians did, during lockdown in 2020 (we interviewed some of them during the great flour/toilet roll crisis of 2020). What started as a mail order cookie business (and still is) evolved into the fellas beginning to sell their wares at pop up food markets and places such as Winter Wonderland and outlets such as KERB. This evolved into a Kickstarter campaign which resulted in the current business.  

In addition to cookies and brownies, the Dino boys also sell cupcakes, brownies, baked goods, sandwiches, coffee and, wait for it, beer and cocktails. At first we thought this a rather barmy concept, and then started thinking that this might rather be a stroke of genius. After all, what could be better than tying all your sins together by cramming a handful of cookies down your gob and then washing them down with a double G&T? 

We indulged in a classic chocolate chip cookie. It was big, dense, and we could smell the butter from the first bite. It had the right amount of sweetness and the chips oozed out onto Kennington Road. We also saw orange brownies, mango cookies, and such unorthodox ingredients as basil and pepper. We chatted to the boys in our notoriously anonymous fashion, and they explained that they’ve have travelled the world to gain inspiration and like to think of their offerings as a synthesis of what they’ve learned. 

Chocolate Dino Company is at 36 Kennington Road, only a few doors down from Gail’s Bakery. As if you needed another reason to not go to Gail’s, now you have one. They’re still in soft launch phase, so check their socials for opening hours (currently Friday to Sunday). And if you still choose Gail’s just remember….we’re watching. 

The Squeegies of Vauxhall

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Long before Vauxhall had a Starbucks and flats behind the bins at Fire nightclub that would set you back  £11,000,000, young people called ‘Squeegies’ popped up in Vauxhall Cross determined to make a bit of change by cleaning windscreens. The budding filmmaker Paul Bernays decided to make a documentry out of their lives, turning it into a film that was included in the long running BBC series ’40 Minutes’. You might remember an iconic episode in this series called ‘Angel’, about the tube station.  

Squeegies Follows the windscreen washing lives Del, Leah and Tony and a cast of others (including children) as they battle traffic in Vauxhall, relationships, alcohol and, in Leah’s case, pregnancy. Del is the sage of the group and actually has a family of his own and memories of almost being a popstar. There is something quietly life affirming about their quest for better things in a world stacked against them. 

Squeegies was shot in 1992,  So in the background can be seen the MI6 building nearing completion, Vauxhall cold store, and a roundabout without a giant bus shelter. 40 minutes and fascinating stuff. 

Bye Bye, M&S. Hello Walworth Road

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Tomorrow Greater Kennington’s only M&S Simply Food will be going to that big overpriced supermarket in the sky. Those of you reading this probably fall into four camps:

  1. Who cares?
  2. So sorry to see it go!
  3. I had not idea it was closing. Oh no! 
  4. WTAF, there was an M&S Simply Food in Greater Kennington?! 

Yes, technically it was in our borders, in Walworth Road. But there are plenty of wonderful, independent grocers/butchers/world food vendors still flourishing in Walworth Road. And if it wasn’t for Shwarma Hut at 292 we probably wouldn’t have survived lockdown. If you still need to mainline your M&S fix, we here at the Runoff have a totally unsubstantiated feeling that one will soon arrive in the new Elephant shopping centre. But we’re sticking with Walworth Road where you can find great Turkish, Caribbean, African, and other exotic fare. Oh, and there’s also a Morrisons for those not so creative types.

Free Weekend Fun in Vauxhall

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If you’re feeling vocal, the folks at Be In Vauxhall are once again hosting ‘Bearpit Karaoke’ this weekend. The press release describes it as ‘attracting huge crowds each month of both professional and non professional singers’. We walked by it last month and at first didn’t know if was Karaoke or some kind of weird spiritual revival. But it looked fun, and this year Mother Kelly’s and Bokit’la (Oval Market) French Caribbean will be on board with stalls amongst other great foodie offerings.

Bearpit Karaoke takes place this Saturday (8th) from 4 to 8 and then on every second Saturday of the month over the summer. Free tickets can be nabbed here. It’s located at that sketchy bit at the end of the Pleasure Gardens where you indeed might be accustomed to seeing people singing, but for once it won’t be men on their own bursting into song while gripping a bottle of ‘White Lightning’ or Swifties at the altar of the Black Dog.

We’ve been told that this is not, in fact, Catherine Tate

Also gracing Vauxhall Pleasure Gardens this summer is the Be In Vauxhall Summer Screen. If the weather obliges it’s a great way to spend a weeknight and enjoy knees up and singalong with your mates.  Our diverse office pool of subterranean misfits will be watching Barbie, but might opt for the marginally more butch Moulin Rouge. 

9 JUL AT 7PM – ENCANTO | BOOK YOUR SPACE

16 JUL AT 7PM – BARBIE | BOOK YOUR SPACE

23 JUL AT 7PM – MEN IN BLACK | BOOK YOUR SPACE

30 JUL AT 7PM – MOULIN ROUGE | BOOK YOUR SPACE

All of these nights look like great fun but please be aware that they don’t really kick off until about 8:30pm after the sun sets. Tickets are free and according to the website should be booked. Having said that, we’re not really sure why you need to book a place at either of these events as you can take part by sitting on a car bonnet or off a tree limb, so just turn up. It’s not like we expect Runoff readers to oblige by the rules. 

Pullens Yard Open Studios

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As frequent readers are all too aware, we here at the Runoff love nothing more than anonymously sticking our noses where they don’t belong. And you too can take part in our passion/dysfunction by attending the great Pullens Yard Open Studios weekend taking place on 7-9 June in Walworth.

Pullens Yards (Clements, Peacock and the large Iliffe Yard) are an amazing collection of 1880’s workhouses which were originally designed for the people who lived in the nearby Pullens Estate. We wrote about the fascinating squatting history of the estate a few years ago. Instead of being converted into luxury flats, the Yards serve the same purpose as they did 140 years go, and the cabinet makers and blacksmiths have been replaced by potters, jewellery makers, card makers and folks who make things that smell nice. We once bought moth balls disguised by little knitted mice.

The studios at Pullens Yards are usually not open to the public, but twice a year they fling their doors open to give us a glimpse into their creative universe. The artists are more than happy to show you what and how they create, and of course you can buy what’s on show. And buying is by no means compulsory, as at the end the day these folks just want to show off how creative they are and it’s totally free. Have we mentioned how much we love free?

A visit to the Yards is a fun way to spend a morning or a late afternoon searching for quirky and unnecessary things. In the past we’ve encountered live music, food for sale, a bar provided by Orbit Brewery(!) and bumped into neighbours. In 2022 we went on a wet Friday night which proved particularly evocative. And who knows, you just might discover a previously unrealised desire to own a necklace made out of forks or a room deodoriser fashioned as a piece of cheese.

And if you’re hungry or want some tea, check out the great and very quirky Electric Elephant Café. 

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