Call the Doctor!

Since the demise of Elephant and Castle shopping centre a few years ago, we’ve been telling you how the small businesses that were there have adapted to other premises. Two sterling examples are the great Black Cowboy Coffee and critically acclaimed Kaieteur Kitchen. As it’s January and we’re now expected *eats doughnut* to lead much more healthy lifestyles, we’re here to tell you about another of these ventures; ‘Dr. Juice’.

Dr. Juice is the brainchild of Colombian born entrepreneur John Parra. In 2015 he was working for M&S and he and his friends noticed a distinct lack of healthy food options around Elephant and Castle. Given that healthy juices are a feature of most Colombian tables, the gap in the market seemed obvious and John tasked himself with addressing the issue. According to John ‘I just wanted to make the community become healthier’.

On our stopover, my juicy companion had the ‘Dirty Passion’ smoothie, comprised of mango, passion fruit, orange and pineapple. Your scribe had the ‘Dr. Classic’ juice drink consisting of carrot, apple, orange and ginger. All of the ingredients worked powerfully when whizzed together. These drinks are made before your very eyes and there are no artificial additives, but you can add items such as chia seeds and protein. Dr. Juice also sells acai bowls and fruit bowls 

We remember John’s petite pop up juice bar in the shopping centre fondly as they were located across from the erotic electric massage chairs. The new location is much more spacious and benefits from being in an area full of students. However, as we know post pandemic, every food establishment is at risk and benefits from our patronage. 

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Ililli Lebanese Restaurant

Merry ‘Twixmas’ and we hope you’re enjoying this rather odd period where you should be working but probably aren’t. Unfortunately the top brass here at the Runoff didn’t provide us with a Christmas bonus this year. Well, unless you count the time when the CFO threw a handful of Celebrations into our cubicles and said ‘here’s your bonus’. So we’re back at work. 

Since it’s opening several months ago we’ve had on our radar an interesting looking Lebanese place in Vauxhall called ‘Ilili’. Given that kebabs joints are about as pervasive as estate agents in Greater Kennington, our mission was to see how the Ilili matched up to its numerous neighbours. It has a large charcoal grill at the front, for shish and kofte type grills. There are also two shawarma rotating skewers – chicken and lamb, no doner. The large seating area upstairs to the rear gives it more of a Middle Eastern grill restaurant vibe as opposed to a strict kebab shop. Unlike other places similar to Ilili, they also serve seafood and a small selection of Egyptian dishes. Tick

My dining partner, Karen from Finance, had the lamb shawarma, with well caramelised lamb pieces, served in generous quantity on a flat Lebanese style wrap. Your scribe had the chicken shawarma, with massive slices of marinated chicken, well seasoned with a hit of cumin. The usual salad fillings can be added to order, as can spicy sauce or a garlic sauce. Ours were solidly good wraps and excellent value (£6.95) given their taste quality and large size. The large option must be the size of a baby’s leg. The service was friendly as well. 

The illustrations above are for you to see the contents of our kebabs. We’re fully aware that they rather resemble something that you might have stepped on after leaving Vauxhall station. A reminder to us all that photographing food is no mean feat.

Illil Restaurant is at 351 Kennington Lane

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Christmas Fun in Bonnington Square

Yes, dear readers, we are notifying you of two Christmassy happenings in a row. We only have the press release to go by, but we are all invited to ‘Christmas at Italo’, a celebration sponsored by Italo Vauxhall in Bonnington Square. For those not in the know, Italo is a locally owned, pint sized delight of a deli, sandwich and Italian food shop. On Wednesday it will be open until 20:00.

From Italo – 

‘On Wednesday 21st December, Winter Solstice, there is a big local party. Starting at 4pm with country dancing in St Annes Hall, on the corner of Vauxhall Grove and Harleyford Road, 2 minutes walk from the shop. Then there will be the usual solstice pagan carols outside the shop, officiated by our local pagan priest David Spofforth, from 6.30… with mulled wine. Then there is a ‘Bring Food (Vegan and Vegetarian only) and Drinks to share” community party in the Bonnington Centre. Then upstairs at the Bonnington Centre. And everyone is very welcome to come, and bring many family and friends…’

We’re acutely aware of the renegade tendency of Runoff readers, so we implore you to respect the solstice, pagan and vegetarian nature of this event. To put it bluntly,  don’t pitch up in a nun’s habit with a giant gravy double bucket from the new KFC in Vauxhall.   We will certainly plan to abide by this. 

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Lenos & Carbon

We recently paid a long overdue visit to Colombian staple Lenos and Carbon in Elephant Street in Elephant and Castle. If you’ve never been to Elephant Street, it’s a delightful little strip of earth full of northern South American restaurants, shops and cafes which nourishes us with the diversity of our anointed patch. 

Hidden behind a tiny door next to the entrance to the station, the first impressions of L&C is that it’s beguilingly large. The walls are adorned with handicrafts that can be purchased, and on our visit the majority of the punters were speaking Spanish – two big ticks from the very outset. We started by trying their empanada, which had a pastry thicker and softer than what we are accustomed to from Argentine restaurants, and was overall more corn based. A tasty and filling bargain at £1.70. We also indulged on a shredded beef arepa. It left us feeling a bit bland but was rescued by some very zingy salsas. 

For the mains, Phil from accounts had the Bandeja Paisa, which rather resembled a greatest hits mixed grill meets breakfast buffet dish. The Colombian style chorizo was less paprika flavoured than its Spanish cousin, but still tasty. Around these were an assortment of shredded beef, cereal, corn bread and beans. And both of our plates extended two second plates containing fried plantain, rice and salad. Whew. 

Your scribe had the Mojarra Marinera with plantains and rice. Mojarra is a tropical fish and this one was served as a whole, head and all. This mind bogglingly large dish was accompanied by mussels, tiny calamari, prawns, and baby octopus. It was sprinkled with parsley to accompany the very creamy and succulent sauce. Both of these dishes were washed down with Corona on tap, but wine and cocktails are also available. 

Colombian food will probably never rise to the dizzying heights of Colombia’s other great export*, but what we love about L&C is the overall experience and vibe. With the Colombian staff and punters it transported us to a place much further south, far removed from train strikes and melting snow. 

*We’re talking about Shakira, so please get your mind out of the gutter.  

Christmas Tree Time!

At Christmas can you guess who the busiest man in greater Kennington might be? Is it Santa Claus? Perhaps the great man Jesus Christ himself? Of course it’s Abraham over at Bouquets and Beans in Kennington Cross who is about to take delivery of a biblical hoard of Christmas trees on Saturday (10 Dec) and more after that.

Abraham’s informed us that his trees are £35 for 3-4 feet, and £75 for 8-10 feet. The latter option being for people with huge homes or those who’ve consumed too much mulled wine. He is also selling wreaths. And he’s confirmed that said trees can be delivered. It helps to order in advance, but he also has trees on hand.   

And if you’re tree shopping why not treat yourself to a tea, coffee, croissant or a bouquet of holiday flowers? 

The Murger Han Experience

We experienced a small gust of thrill when we saw the sign for new Chinese in Elephant called ‘Murger Han’. As it rhymes with ‘Burger Van’, we envisioned delicacies such hamburger egg rolls. As it turns out, it’s billed as ‘London’s first authentic Xi’ian restaurant ‘, which provided us with another gust, as two of us at KR towers have actually been to Xi’an on the very street where this food is made. The food is a wonderful departure from the Cantonese gloop that we’ve been spoon fed for decades, and comes from an area of China where wheat replaces rice and the food becomes infused with spices such as cumin.

Murger Han promotes itself as Chinese street food, and  murgers themselves are meat filled sandwiches. They looked hearty, but the thing to order here is the speciality of the house, and that is biang biang noodles. These noodles get their name from being stretched and slapped into long slinky bands until they’re thin and chewy. Your scribe  had the noodle with shredded beef and black fungus, with the compulsory Chinese black vinegar sauce and added garlic oil.

Alice from Finance had her noodles with spicy pork, tomato, egg and vegetables (the variations being endless). She reported the dish as having ‘quite big flavours and spicy but not overwhelmingly – really rich and flavourful, served in a beautiful big bowl’. The noodles have a long and almost intestinal look to them but don’t let that put you off as they result in a joyous slurp. The mains are between £12-£14 which without booze (rare for us) is pretty reasonable. They also serve noodle and dumpling based soups. 

We visited Murger Han on a rainy Saturday, which proved almost fatal as the floor is totally marble and patrons were sliding all over the place. The marble extends up the wall, giving the place the appearance of a 90’s strip club, softened somewhat by the presence of cute emoji throw cushions, which we found curiously appealing.  But if the atmosphere doesn’t arouse you’ll find the food absurdly satisfying, and is a great, slurpy and slippy way to spend an afternoon or an evening. 

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Simply Bread

In the guise of overly curious members of the public, we recently paid a visit to brand new sandwich joint Simply Bread in Black Prince Road. Simply Bread is a few doors down and run by the folks who operate the Jolly Gardeners Pub. The manager explained that all of the sandwich fillings are created in the Gardeners kitchen by the same trained chefs who make the meals, and contain the same quality of sourced ingredients that you find in their meals. So, your coronation chicken is the same chicken found in their Sunday roast. And their bread is purchased at Alby Bakery in Vauxhall. Looking good so far…

The sandwiches at Simply Bread are the same day on day but the specials change, and our intern Kate had the aforementioned coronation chicken. It was very generously filed with juicy and moist chicken in an authentic tasting coronation dressing, and appetisingly sunny in colour. Of course it also featured a wealth of raisins, so if they’re not your thing you’ve been warned.  Your scribe had the tuna loin sandwich in a sub roll which was well filled with large pink tuna chunks and a waist expanding amount of mayo just this side of decadent. And the bread was slightly sweet and very fresh. With all sandwiches a range of toppings (onion, salad, tomatoes etc) can be added. 

We give Simply Bread our stamp of approval as a solid, independent lunch spot.  In the morning they also serve coffee, tea, pastries and sausage/bacon rolls. (or vegan).  When I pointed out to the manager  that the name of the shop rhymes with a certain washed up band from the 80’s with a lead singer who nowadays resembles Little Orphan Annie, he responded with a puzzled and somewhat worried expression. But don’t fret, he’s much more adept at sandwich making. 

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The Resurrection of Amici

If you’re a frequent Runoff Reader (and if not you’re really missing out) you’ll be aware that we review places anonymously in order to avoid preferential treatment and to remain unbiased. So we have to put our cards on the table as we kind of know the proprietors of ‘Amici’ in Kennington Cross  so the information is not technically a review but just details.  

After mostly being closed for the past 2 ½ years, Amici is back in soft launch phase. They’re goal is to merge the classics from their (RIP) Persian restaurant Doost with the Mediterranean offerings of Amici. For a split second we had a nightmare vision of pomegranate pizza, but owner Houman explained that it’s just the greatest hits of each place, and as the kitchens get fitted it’s primarily Persian, which suited us just fine. 

Phil from IT had one of the specials, a meatball dish from the northern, Caspian region of Iran. It was markedly tart with a pomegranate and herb-based sauce, so a bit different from what we think of as “standard” Persian. It was served with fluffy basmati rice. Your scribe had a long grain rice dish with fresh prawns and calamari. And of course, served with loads of dill. It was light and had a slightly nutty tone to it. 

Our party of five weren’t planning to get starters, but co owner Sethi was able to tell us not only from where each dish originated and how it’s made, but even offered insight as how her family members have been making them for years. So we caved in and had a kind of Persian bruschetta topped with aubergine, and a spinach frittata. As this is just info we’re imparting, you’ll need to decide for yourselves if this is for you.  

Sethi also explained that they plan to re open the deli which briefly held sway at the front of the shop, and have themed nights such as Persian dancing and speakers. That sounds great, but Houman if you are reading this (and if not you’re really missing out) please do not again fill your restaurant with used books, clothes, tinned food and jewellery for sale. You might think it looked like a canny business move, but to the rest of us it just resembled aunt Mable’s loft after she’d kicked the bucket.   

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Market Place Vauxhall

We bear a degree of pragmatic skepticism when it comes to the independent credentials of these food halls which have been popping up recently such as Mercato Metropolitano in Elephant. However, we love the small traders which use them to establish and build their little foodie businesses, which is why we just inspected the spanking new Market Place in Vauxhall. 

Over the years many things both enriching and a bit disturbing have sprung out of the railway arches in Vauxhall, and luckily Market Place next to the station falls into the former category. The collection of stalls includes Thai, Mexican, Mumbai street food, pizza, pasta, Sri Lankan, Argentinean, and Turkish. There are also a few exports from Borough Market including ‘Bread Ahead’ and Caribbean joint ‘Rudi’s’, and we can definitely recommend their chicken wrap. As there is also a bar and is open until 10:00, Market Place can be useful for those ‘I don’t wanna cook and want a drink’ nights. So, most nights for us in the office. 

Marching merrily on to the food, your scribe headed to MoMo Thai and had the Pad Kra Pao stir fry. A Thai staple, it was packed with chicken mince and holy basil with a slightly spicy jasmine rice and topped with a fried egg. Karen from Finance took the low carb route and headed via the Argentinean Grill for her steak salad. It came with a surprisingly large amount of steak which was slightly cut and pink. A bit chewy but pleasant. A proper amount of salad came with it as well as a generous lash of chimichurri sauce. 

We here at the Runoff are hoping that the folks over at Market Place aren’t charging extortionate rents to these small traders as it will only hobble their chances of growth. When we’ve interviewed some of these folks they’ve expressed gratitude at the platform and exposure it has given them, and long shall it continue. And it also exposes us all to cultures and cuisines that we might otherwise not encounter in our fair manor. Bon appétit! 

Casa Madeira

If you’ve ever strolled through Vauxhall you’ve certainly walked past Casa Madeira multiple times. Madeira is the restaurant in a quartet of Portuguese establishments in Albert Embankment and is flanked by a cafe, supermarket  and further down by a further bar/café called ‘Pico’. Outside you can usually find clusters of folk drinking Sagres under umbrellas and chatting in Portuguese, which makes you feel as if you’ve just stumbled across a delightful bar in Lisbon as opposed to a railway arch in Vauxhall next to a petrol station. 

We chose to sit outside on what was a balmy, lovely evening and without a reservation, which was fine. The space was large and well set up, with some high octane background muzak and screens and plants which provided helpful sensory deprivation from the road and aforementioned petrol station. The service staff were friendly, efficient and drilled to near perfection about the food on offer — with our waiter’s specific knowledge of the fish market in Funchal leaving just this side of aroused. We therefore started our journey with deep fried whitebait which were nicely plump, breaded, and plentiful. Served with lemon and tartare sauce, their little silvery tails popping out to remind us of the goodness inside. 

Portuguese mains are more or less variations on a theme, and this is the case at Madeira. We saw whizzing across the pavement chorizo, lamb cutlets, and chicken escalopes. However, we came here for the fish and seafood and to satisfy you, dear reader, we splashed out on the fish grill for two. This huge dish consisted of two chargrilled pieces of seabass, blackened salmon, black scabbard fish, and this was topped by two enormous butterflied king prawns and a scattering of calamari rings. All soaking in olive oil with sides of carrot, beans and new potato. Delicious and grilled by a person who knew what they were doing. This was perfectly matched with a Portuguese white (wines start at £26)

Prices at Madeira are reasonable, and at times remarkable, based on what they are serving and given the joint’s proximity to the West End.  We paid £41 for the seafood but you can blow the bank on turbot for two (£75) or just pop in for a pint and pastal de nada (£1.50). We recommend the fish and seafood and also the meats on offer. Pizza and burgers also make an appearance for some surreal reason but if the spirit takes you there then go for it. And if you’re wondering just what the hell scabbard fish is, lets just say that it resembles one of those deep sea creatures that washes up on beaches every few years that people assumed was extinct.