When we recently yelled out in the office ‘who’d like a lunchtime drink’ Phil from accounts reflexively leapt out of his chair, but was crestfallen when we he discovered he’d be heading to brand spanking new coffee emporium ‘Capheum’. Capheum is nestled subtly in a former tattoo parlour in that sketchy bit of Kennington Park Road down from Tesco Express and the dreary pub Oaka. We love them already.
When we arrived, our first impressions were of a clean, bright and petite (four or five tables) boutique coffee/tea house with the usual range of coffees and a small but pleasing array of pastries. The owner explained that they are supplied by the award winning Celtic Bakeries which is all delightful but as they’re not based in Greater Kennington we weren’t interested. Your scribe had an Americano, and it was a full flavoured, rich and nutty blend. We gave Phil a sip and he unhelpfully commented ‘well it just tastes like a Guinness to me’. This was served as directed with cold milk in a clever, ribbed cup that never got hot.
Phil had a breakfast tea, which he described as ‘great’.
And in spite of Capheum having a name that sounds rather like the latest recreational party drug, it’s a very sedate place to work or just catch up with your bestie. The music is low in a kind of ‘Buddha Bar 2000’ manner and there is good wifi and plenty of plug sockets. We tested it a second time and stayed a while with a laptop, and the owners were fine with that.
The annual Cleaver Square ‘Carols in the Square’ takes place this Tuesday (19th) from 18:45 and the best part is that you don’t even have to live in Cleaver Square to take part! Or even look like you live in Cleaver Square. It is open to everyone and has raised over £10,000 over the years for local charities, so bring a few extra pounds if you can but they also have a card reader. Also bring your mug to save the hard volunteers a bit of time.
We attended the Carols last year and it was great fun. We were treated to homemade mince pies, mulled wine, and sang along with the lovely Fever Pitch choir, who will be performing again. Apparently wearing a funny Christmas hats is a tradition so you’ve been warned and we’ve event pointed at the words. In order to fit in with the posh Cleaver Square set we’ll be digging out our flat cap, red corduroys and beaten up Barbour jacket left over from some Madonna/Guy Ritchie themed fancy dress party we attended in 2007.
Before we commence our mega mix of how you can buy gifts for people you love/put up with this Christmas, let’s think about the Greater Kenningtonians out there who are struggling to put food on the table in these difficult times. This year we’re supporting the Secret Santa campaign run by our friends over at the Kennington Association. Last year KA raised funds to give shopping vouchers to 150 local households, with the families chosen by local early needs professionals. To find out more and to donate, click here. If you like the more hands on approach there is a food collection box next to the exit at Tesco in Kennington Lane.
FOOD AND DRINK
Italo Vauxhall and Mimi’s Deli both have a range of Italian foodie gift ideas including wines, beers, spices, panettone (that’s Italian for ‘stale cake’), oils, cheeses and even posh sauces. Mimi’s has also turned the former seating area into a glitter themed pop up Italian accessory shop in the back, not visible from the road. They also do custom made hampers. As you can see below, the joint is rammed this year.
Mimis
Didi and Franc
Mercato Metropolitano has all of the Italian fare outlined above and also features some wine and posh olives in jars . They have wonderful meats and cheeses but if they sit under your tree for the next fortnight until Christmas the smell might rather dampen the Christmas vibe.
Mercato
Bee themed wrapping paper, Bee Urba
Oval Farmer’s Market Ever thought about buying an edible Christmas gift from our own beloved country market? They stock many things that won’t perish under the tree such as chorizo, chocolates and wine. We’re also concerned that the Market is kind of dying and we need to prevent this. You have two Saturdays before Christmas!
Beefeater Gin Distillery has a lovely but totally deserted gift shop offering unusual, limited run gins and gin accessories. You can also buy a gift voucher to tour the distillery (we can confirm it’s great fun). Perfect for your loved one who likes a nice holiday tipple or to get your annoying uncle Fred to nod off before the turkey is served. We understand Beefeater’s parent company Pernot Ricard is the opposite of independent, but it’s Christmas so don’t judge us.
Orbit Brewery is our own hidden away little gem of a brewery in Walworth. Online or in person you can buy a range of their lagers, cders, ales, porters, and even socks. And the rumour is true, they sell tzatziki flavoured beer that we can only describe as, well, ‘adventurous’.
Didi and Franc have gone full tilt in 2023 and are selling custom made hampers to fill with their gorgeous goods. But if, like us, you don’t fit their demographic, you can just buy one of their baskets and fill it with things from the corner shop. And while you’re there you can pick up a panettone at I due Amici next door. Panettone being of course the food that you never actually eat, but just regift at a Christmas party you’ve been invited to.
NON FOOD
Castle Square When you think of Christmas shopping the first thing that springs to mind probably isn’t ‘ooh, lets go to the place behind Elephant Station where they keep the bins’. But if you venture there you’ll discover a clutch of independent shops that used to exist in the shopping centre. Great for your younger folk looking for baseball caps, hoodies, clothes, or undergarments to make your bum look either smaller or larger. While there pop over to the retro video game emporium 4 Quarters?
SoLo Craft Fair is a collective of online artists and creatives who run a bricks and mortar shop in Elephant Park. Sixty small businesses have their work shown on rotation and during our journey we saw affordable jewellery, handbags, baskets, cards, scarves, bath salts, prints and T-shirts. Things that smell nice seem be dominant this year.
So-Lo
Pretty Shiny Shop
Hound Hut From the chains, cages and chew toys in the window, for many years we thought Hound Hut in Clapham Road was actually a bondage/S&M shop. However, it is your one stop shop for everything canine, even refrigerated dog food.
Pretty Shiny Shop sit nexts to the (not S&M) Hound Hut and they swaggeringly claim to be Greater Kennington’s Christmas Shop (steady) and they stock a range or cards, houseware items, Christmas tree goodies, and small pieces of jewellery. It’s like a giant Christmas explosion in that place.
Windmill Flowers stocks not just flowers but also collectables and houseware accessories and Mary is in charge to show you the way forward. Mary also has some Christmas trees and accessories for those who haven’t got their act together quite yet.
Vanilla Black in addition to books also has some nice gift ideas such as cards and stockings and a few food items. We think VB secretly hate us but we’ve moved on with our lives and are plugging them anyway.
I due Amici, regifting heaven
Vanilla Black
QueArts is a sterling little arts and crafts store across from Kennington Park and they also undertake framing. Great for your creative or just bored friends.
Bee Urban is bee based charity in the middle of Kennington Park (behind the cafe) selling all sorts of honey and honey related things such as candles, fragrances, soaps and even cards. Interesting place to check out even if you don’t buy anything.
Walworth Garden and Urban Botanica While perhaps not the easiest thing to wrap, have you ever considered the gift of houseplants? The charity and juggernaut of horticulture, Walworth Garden are selling cacti, cards and other things in their geodesic dome. While over in Kennington Cross, UB is one of the few places on earth where you can sip your Minor Figures chai latte while browsing Boston ferns.
Always be Comedy , our very own stand up club, is offering your loved one the gift of a comedy E voucher at The Tommyfield. We’ve seen the likes Harry Hill, Al Murray, Sara Pascoe and more. The crowd looks a lot like a casting call to be on ‘The Apprentice’ but you quickly get over that.
Eagle eyed and long term readers aware that for several years we’ve taken a keen interest in the developments in an around the newly created Oval Village, which we call ‘UptownKenVo’, and here’s the latest.
The Applegreen petrol station in Kennington Lane has now gone to that giant, fossil fuel cloud in the sky and is no more. Also sadly departed is our only Greggs, which is now on an adjacent, probably sausage roll shaped cloud. They are to be replaced by a nine storey, 185 bed block of student accommodation. There will be commercial space on the ground floor.
We took particular interest in the press release stating that there will be a ‘fantastic rooftop garden with amazing views’ as when we were students the best view we had was looking out of a dirty window in a pub that smelled of wet cat hair. But times change…
In the midst of the Kennington Cross triangle nestles a quiet gallery that until last week the Runoff had never visited. Ken Artspace is run by artists Agalis and Rob, who live upstairs and decided to create a gallery space on the ground floor when the property beneath them became available. In the 1960’s the space was inhabited by a grocery/pet shop with a sign that read ‘Mixed Marvels’ at the upper level and this inspired the artistic duo to curate a show themed on the sign.
Ken Artspace’s most recent exhibit is named after the aforementioned sign and features eight established artists, most of whom have had a solo show at Artspace, working on small canvases. Microbial beings, cellular shapes, and dreamy Swedish landscapes fill the room as well as more figurative mixed media works about travel. A stand out for us was Jeffrey Dennis’s paintings inspired by 1970’s catalogues of home furnishings. We particularly enjoyed the series ‘Boxhead’ by London artist Jane Gifford, below, as it reminds us of the way that most of PR team feel the morning after the Runoff Christmas party at the Tommyfield pub.
If this exhibit doesn’t tickle your artistic fancy your artistic collarbone you might want to follow them on the socials as they have an intriguing mix of occasional pop up exhibitions and little events. The creative installations in the window also provide visual relief on a little street punctuated by a dry cleaner, a chippie, and a defunct Chinese joint. And of course, popping in by no means obliges to you buy anything or is even a statement that you’re an art fan. Happy viewing!
Mixed Marvels is exhibiting now until 22 December. The gallery is open Thursday to Saturday and like all tasty morsels in life, is totally free.
Instead of seeing us as the best mythical online publishing powerhouse in Britain, recently people seem to be confusing us with a girl at Waterloo station with a ’can I help’ sash. The question at hand is how to get your hands on a Christmas tree, as the lovely Abraham over at Bouquets and Beans in Kennington Cross is not doing them this year. We’re sensing a middle class existential spasm about to happen here, and we’re on hand to help as we love you.
We can confirm that Windmill Flowers currently have a bevy of Christmas trees outside of their shop, and they can be found in Kennington Cross. Also, an oddly named outfit ‘Clickmas Trees’ is back in the churchyard at St. Mark’s church in Oval. Both places also stock Christmas accessories such as wreaths. If you know of any other places selling trees please put them in the comments section, as frankly we need to move on with our lives.
Whoever said that dining can’t be fun? If you’re looking for a group Christmas meal or just for two of you, we love Dragon Castle in Elephant because it reminds us of the kind of mega restaurants that you actually see in Beijing. If what you want from a dining experience is Chandeliers! Plastic plants! Sullen staff! Lazy Susans! A water feature! Then Dragon Castle can deliver the immersive fun that might be missing in your life. Its also a nice escape from the impending dreary winter nights in Greater Kennington.
On the food front, it isn’t better than any other Chinese out there so we haven’t photographed the dishes but we can recommend their dumplings, which are a speciality. Chinese beers are on offer in addition to wines and spirits and this is a good thing, as it helps to be not entirely sober during your Dragon Castle experience. But with Christmas around the corner that should be rather easy.
On a weekend expect a chaotic yet endearing mix of Chinese families, people on dates, kids running around, and locals all with a great deal of mirth. A trip to Dragon Castle is as close as you can get to the sights and smells of a Beijing mega restaurant. The only letdown is that when its done you’re face with the sights and smells of Walworth Road.
Last week we attended the gala opening* of the spanking new Blavatnik Art, Film and Photography Galleries at the best museum we bet you’ve never been to, our very own Imperial War Museum. This permanent gallery is a valued addition to the Greater Kennington cultural landscape (it’s a thing, trust us) and includes works by Henry Moore, John Singer Sargent, Walter Sickert, Cecil Beaton, and Wyndham Lewis to name but a few.
The galleries are laid out by themes and are chronological, from WW1 to 21st century conflicts. As with the other display areas at IWM, these new galleries don’t seek to glorify war but rather to explain it and how it can be avoided. This is achieved by a captivating mix of propaganda posters, photographs (the gallery own 12 million), armaments, film clips, cameras, and first hand accounts. But the great achievement here are the paintings, with the highlight being the recently restored work ‘Gassed’ by Sargent (below). We could have probably spent several days in the gallery’s two screening rooms but the Runoff overlords would have none of it. The reel of clips range from footage of the D-day landings to advice about how to make a wartime compost heap.
Gassed
Rather than being a historical record, the galleries include current work showcasing the conspicuous talent of artists such as Steve McQueen (the Oscar winning artist, not the formerly living action hero). He’s represented here by his artwork ‘Queen and Country’. Also in the mix are descriptions of anti war protests, marches, and attempts to avoid war. This is interesting in its own right, but especially when considering the complex dynamics of what is transpiring in Gaza and Israel at the moment. But a celebration of war artists and photographers is the beating heart of these expansive and well thought out galleries.
You might be reading this and thinking that the IWM is nationalistic and not your cup of chai. We get that, but we are duly challenging you to get your Guardian reading, tofu buying selves over to the IWM when you have a spare hour of two. And as you’ll be in the neighbourhood anyway, why not check out the fascinating exhibit about spies and deception that we wrote about a few weeks ago? Did we mention that they have a stonking café with pretty cakes and sarnies?
Are the proud residents of Walworth aware that you once in your very midst had a Vesuvius like, spewing cauldron of a volcano? It was part of the Surrey Zoological Gardens and we wrote about the gardens and the poor critters who lived there over the summer.
Surrey Zoological Gardens were established in 1831 and situated roughly where Pasley Park currently resides. There are interesting signs in the park detailing the brief but exciting existence of its previous inhabitants and well worth a casual visit. At one side of the vast garden landscape (this was primarily farmland at the time) was a large lake with paddling boats. To get in the punters, the proprietor commissioned a painted illustration of Vesuvius and the city of Naples at the back of the lake, and due to demand later pimped this up with a much bigger landscape, requiring 7000 yards of canvas. This created the illusion that boaters were in a palm fringed Bay of Naples as opposed to a weedy swamp in south London.
The competition to attract pleasure seekers in early 19th century London was tough, and the gardens decided to ape reality in another way by making the painting more immersive. At sunset Vesuvius would come to life by erupting with smoke, fire, underground thunder, and even fireworks. This added titillation was a sensation for people at the time and they flocked in their thousands. If punters got bored there were the added attractions of a music hall, food, and a menagerie of exotic but totally misunderstood animals.
Sadly, the allure of premature death at the hands of fake molten lava and flying rocks grew old, and after 1847 there is no more mention of our enormous painting and the spewing fire behind it. And several years after the Gardens themselves closed owing to the allure of Crystal Palace further down the road and the libidinal pleasures of Vauxhall Pleasure Gardens, which itself was in its final days. Proof as it was ever needed that attracting the attention of Londoners is by no means a current undertaking.
Poised at the northern precipice of the KR catchment area, we recently paid a visit to PSV café near Lambeth North tube. The café serves Laotian and Thai food but, as we’ve all had Thai a million times, we came ready to inspect the Lao food, which is a very hard to come by option in London. PSV is located above a delightful, down to earth local pub called the Crown and Cushion which is well worth a visit in its own right. The punters at PSV café were a mix of locals and perplexed tourists who, when they booked their hotel around the corner, could have sworn the website said it was in Waterloo.
Gunther from our graphic design department chose the Laab Ped, a spicy duck dish. This was marked on the menu as “two chillies” hot which he thought was fair: spicy, not burning. Interestingly, the duck was almost minced in very small pieces and apparently contained liver and gizzard. It had an earthiness from these, paired with the chilli garlic kick and garlic. The inclusion of ground roasted rice created a surprising, but fun, crunch element. All of this came with some salad and raw vegetables. Gunther thought it a hit, especially for lovers of chicken liver (even if this was duck!), even if his gratitude for being given as free meal was a bit, shall we say, paltry.
Beef
Salmon
Your scribe consumed Goi Pa, which consisted of sweet and sour raw salmon cured and briefly marinated and served as a very spicy salad. It was seasoned with the magic of chili powder and added to the mix was mint, coriander, spring onions, roasted rice, red onion, and lifted up with the addition of fish sauce and lemon juice. The mix of mint and fish sauce was particularly interesting, as was the heat of the overall dish. If you’re unfamiliar with Laotian fare, think of it as a hybrid of Chinese and Vietnamese. Both dishes included sticky rice served in a fetching basket/handbag contraption.
On the drinks front, Singha beer is the only option which is perfectly understandable. The cheery and well drilled staff pointed out that drinks can be purchased at the bar and brought upstairs. Of course, we will allow you to have Thai at PSV if you insist (but don’t) but we suspect that serving Thai food is more of a side hustle to get people in the door, and their real passion lives in their Lao food which is hearty, healthy and spice tastic.
